Distracted and Consumed

I am chief among sinners. 

I thought about Paul’s words as my pastor spoke the words “Distracted and Consumed” yesterday. I felt the arrows of conviction hit straight and true as he continued on with his sermon, knowing those three words had struck at the heart of a problem. One that I know many wrestle with, even as a society and culture we are suffering from the very disease of distraction and consummation.

I get the irony of writing about this on a platform (and sharing it on other platforms) because it’s the very thing which is distracting and consuming this heart, this mind, and this time. I like to say “well it’s to keep up with this or to share my writing.” Unfortunately though it’s to the detriment of my heart and my focus.

Maybe it’s not so much social media that distracts you, maybe you don’t get consumed by the words, the actions, and the thoughts of others in such a divisive culture we are living in. Maybe the distraction is binging on the newest release from Netflix or your kids’ ballgames (this one I saw first hand last weekend y’all). It is whatever is consuming your time and distracting you from the very thing which God desires of you.

What is consuming your heart that it’s not allowing Him in? What is distracting you to the point you cannot hear Him? I am the first to admit that I willingly would choose those over time with Him, time digging in to His Word, time spent in silence with Him, waiting on Him. I would rather be consumed with distractions than allow Him space in my life…that’s what I am telling Him when I “scroll for just a few minutes.” Or when I say “just one more episode” or let someone else take up residency in my heart.

When I am distracted and consumed, I am more prone to worry, anxiety, doubt, fear, and control. I find that peace and stillness are commodities in short supply. The quiet filling of connection is negated with an empty longing to be known when we are consumed by anything other than the God who desires to know us more.

Maybe it’s time to stop the fighting for our attention and our hearts by simply giving them solely to Him. Not a screen, not the success or failure of our child’s pee wee league team, and not some fictional characters we enjoy.

 

Do The Thing.

Tap.

Scroll, Scroll, Scroll.

Tap.

Scroll, Like, (Ugh, why would you put that out there?), Scroll, Scroll. LOVE.

Tap.

I think the majority of you can ascertain what that is describing, as we all seem to tap and scroll, like and judge on our phones these days.

We see people doing amazing things, putting themselves out there and jumping at opportunities. We see people out having fun, pursuing dreams, and everyone seems to be in a happier place than us. Am I right?

Lately for me, I have used social media as a means of procrastination. I have read posts, looked through photos, found streams of hashtags all in the name of research for my writing. But not much writing has been going on. Instead it’s a whole lot of scrolling and a whole lot of unproductivity. It’s lost time and momentum, and instead supplanted a whole lot of self-doubt and questions.

I wouldn’t say I have become jealous or envious of others’ pursuits as several years ago I prayed through that as I saw others advancing and decided to celebrate them over feeling left out or rejected in any way. (I’m mature, I know)

No for me, it’s getting bogged down in the distraction of it all. In the taking a break to clear the mind and finding myself flipping through four forms of social media I have at the ready of my finger tips. Trust me when I say I do love it, it has connected me with people and broadened my perspective on certain things, discovering new ideas and thoughts that I wouldn’t have been challenged to see.

But y’all, it’s my excuse these days. I use it when I should be fighting through writer’s block, when I should be digging into His Word, when I should be sitting in the quiet stillness of life. This isn’t a proclamation of social media fast (you all can stop that at any time because it’s okay to just do it). It’s a call to accountability, that I need to do the thing I am called to do instead of choosing distraction.

you-must-do-the-thing-resized

Distractions are so good, they feed our selves in such ways that bring us delight in the moment, a reprieve from the hard/difficult/uncomfortable/quiet. I am chief of these in pursuing y’all. I even said last night to my friend that I watch entirely too much television, and then commenced to starting the next show on my DVR. Instead of writing. Instead of taking time to dig into Scripture that God has put on my heart. Instead of praying for that friend who came to mind earlier in the day. Instead of cultivating relationships in and around my life.

Maybe you’re like me and seeking out distractions from dealing with life, a call that has gotten to be difficult, loneliness in the midst of a season of quiet, expectations unmet or unrealized…a place where God isn’t providing how you expected or how you defined. It’s gotten hard or quiet and you just want to be distracted by the noise of the world-good intentioned, but still distracting.

For me, I have to do the thing. Not what my flesh desires but what I know deep within, obedience. Obedience to the thing that is greater than what I desire in social media, television, inherently good things…to the Lord in this moment, just now…for today. It’s not easy, nor will I get it right 100% of the time, but for just this moment when I’d rather reach for my phone or remote, I go empty-handed to Him. To His call. To His Word. To time spent with Him.

Singleness and Social Media

Babies are filling up my social media these days. And wedding announcements, engagements and hands held high with mouths in shock.

“He liked it, so he put a ring on it!”

“Excited to announce the newest arrival!”

Spring has sprung the nesting and additions to families all across my friendships.

If I am honest, as this is occurring and I am diving deeper into a healthy relationships with my church family it would be easy for me, the single gal, to slip into an ugly place of sin and discouragement. To find myself seeing what I don’t have and what others do have. To covet. To find jealousy lurking in the depths of a heart not in tune with God’s truth for me. To see depression set in once more, a true depression of the entire body where I shut myself off and shut myself down accepting this life as it is now.

Last week I talked a bit about questioning why we are in the place we are in. And I do from time to time, especially when these life celebrations begin to fill up my life for everyone else, but myself. I started to realize that it wasn’t about them but the state of my heart, and my relationship with God first before it ever got to my relationship with them.

You see, if I am loving God with all that I have (mind, heart, emotions) with everything I got (strength) even in my sensibilities and will (soul) then I am not focused on the others. My gaze isn’t on the scrolling screen of “good life, good wife” mentalities but on the One who gave His life so that I might be in this relationship with Him. When I lean into Christ and what my relationship is with Him, I don’t leave space for coveting because I know without a doubt in my head or heart that I am overflowing with gratitude, love, joy. When that happens, again and again, and I live into that truth for my life instead of the truth the world is trying to craft for me that I need to be this person or in that relationship, fruit develops. I bear out lovingkindness, peace, patience, goodness.

This is fruit for others to enjoy, for me to give away and not allow to sour or rot on the vine. Alot of times I want that fruit for myself, but when He points us to loving others as we love ourselves that means giving away what has filled us up-the good stuff, His stuff, HIM.

He pushes out all the other that I find I sometimes want to live in and loll about in on a quiet Friday night. But He’s right there, ever-present, whispering truth that my relationship with Him is filling me so that I am not growing into what the world thinks I should look like as a single lady but what He has defined for me to be as His.

So I can celebrate weddings, births, new jobs and adventures of friends with a heart full of joy, gratitude and love. For them. For myself. For Him.

The Social Me

I had plans to write on something else this morning. In fact it was something that had spawned yesterday and continued to weigh heavy on my mind and hear throughout the night and this morning. But then I logged into Facebook and knew that the post I had been attempting to craft for two weeks needed to just be done and posted.

You see, I popped into one of my favorite online communities in Facebook. One that has had a hand in supporting and encouraging me throughout the last few months to pursue the dream to write. There it was…a steady stream of “ME!” posts. And while I must put the disclaimer out there that I too have posted my own blog on there or shared a trying “me” time, I got agitated. It was post after post that went from whining about being called out for tardiness to a friends gathering (which was rude by the person who did it), to a photo of someone’s sister’s sonogram (seriously?!) and then brag after brag…which for this group has become the norm to pull up to the brag table.

That’s when I just had enough. This community was created for coming together across the globe to talk about dreaming and then building, how we do it, how we can engage others in it, and then how to step beyond that dream into reality. I even tried to engage in a step beyond post and got told “Just write.”

We’re in a place now where we have to ask our own family to put away their phones at holiday gatherings…my cousins did this at Thanksgiving and are planning to do it again in the next two days as we gather to celebrate Christmas. Yes I have social media, and yes I have this blog…but I feel like the focus has turned from connecting one another to besting one another on Facebook, on Twitter, and even in blogs. We have to post our food (guilty), our gifts (guilty), and our best selves (I have thus far resisted that urge). We show the gloss and the best in order to craft our best life to others.

Can we not live life anymore outside of our status update or funny quip on Twitter? (and yes I am as guilty as the rest) But when do we say enough? When do we take back something that was created for inherent good and say, “No more!” (My nerd self is imagining Gandalf with his staff questioning each time we post)

Maybe the social “me” is tired of it all. Tired of being too accessible, tired of knowing all about people and preventing any authentic conversations from occurring in person. Tired of catching up with people by seeing photos of their kids, their crafts, and their status updates. Instead I’d like to bring back the catching up over coffee, over a lunch, over a long conversation with an actual person. I’d like the interaction to be intimate and active, not passive and ignoring that message or like. Let’s share life authentically, and in reality…

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If you’d like to read my post on living in real life community, you can check it out here.

Here a Phone, There a Phone…

Property of dailytech.com
Property of dailytech.com

I have a really bad habit of relying on my phone to be my company when I am out somewhere alone. I use it to be my entertainment and my bragging point (even when I’m not alone). I didn’t realize I was doing this as often as I was until the other day.

I walked out of the office suite I work in to see students, all sitting alone at separate tables, and all of which were on their phones. Not one single one paid any mind to the person sitting ten feet away nor me as I walked by. It caught me by surprise to see the lack of interaction among individuals who crave community and human interaction at the stage of development they are each in.

I am just as bad, if not worse, about this when I am in public. Uncomfortable situation? Grab your phone. Sitting alone in a restaurant? Be on your phone. It’s the equivalent to appearing you are not alone in this world. There is a connection and you need for others to see that.

But what is happening is that we are becoming so accustomed to living life through a device, through social media, that we forget how to live it in real life. We begin to gloss our lives into a fantasy world so that others will envy us, when often times, we truly are lonely and need human, personal connection. We are forgetting how to have conversations without the phone present. We are forgetting that not every moment needs to be captured with a photo or posted online.

For a single, who regularly lives life across from an empty chair at dinner or a solo hike, that’s incredibly difficult. But losing a sense of personal connection in real life is a far harder thing to deal with. My goal today is to engage in real human living connections I have and set my phone aside.

It’s amazing what you will see when you just look up and look around.

Questioning Tuesday: The Fast

I know you’re not supposed to talk about fasting, that it takes the allure or the sacredness of the intent away. I normally don’t go with the flow on those things. I talk about things that you probably shouldn’t talk about with individuals because we only live once, we walk through life and choose to do so in community or alone. I choose community.

So I am taking a break from social media for the next week. I need some rest and refocus. That comes when you shut everything else off.

My question for you today is, when you need a break or quiet, what is the “thing” you have to shift away from or remove?