Prayer is often a struggle for me, if I am honest. This coming from a woman who is constantly asking how and what I can pray on for friends and family. To the woman who used to sit in her church’s war room on Sundays during a service and pray over everyone in that auditorium.
Yes, prayer has become a struggle because I simply cannot find the words beyond a simple, “Lord, be with them.” “Lord, comfort them in their time of grief and need.” “Lord provide in ways only you can.” “Lord, I am sorry.”
That’s about it. Words that don’t seem to have belief behind them. Words that feel dry and rejected being spoken…faith somewhere else than in the One listening to those words.
A longtime friend recently shared a simple request when prompted for what I could be praying on for them, and so I began to pray these same words over them. Feeling a sense of that God probably wasn’t much into listening to me yet again pander with words what I wasn’t really believing, that He was there and desiring to hear from me. That He could provide and speak into the needs of my intercessions.
So with a loss of words (and I dare say some faith in prayer) I took steps away from time talking to God. I trudged away holding my journal thinking it was all a big waste. It’s then I realized the purposefulness of time spent with Him, a time when I felt unheard and alone that I saw how real God desires a relationship, to hear from me and my heart, the struggles I keep within and those I come to Him with on behalf of others.
But the words still wouldn’t come because it felt weird, like that friend you’ve gone too long in seeing face to face…you aren’t sure where to start or if you can still go deep with them.
So I turned to His Word and what He has said to me and began to pray His truth, affirming it for myself and rejoicing in what He was already doing….
I thank You always concerning my friend for Your grace which was given to them by Christ Jesus, that they are enriched in everything by You in all utterance and all knowledge even as the testimony of Christ was confirmed in them, so that they come short in no gift, eagerly waiting for the revelation of You Lord Jesus, that You will also confirm them to the end, that they may be blameless in the day of You. You are faithful, by whom they were called into the fellowship of Your Son, Jesus Christ our Lord.
adapted from 1 Corinthians 1:4-9
He has already given us the words when we don’t have them, when we struggle to voice laments, praises, hurts, griefs and sorrows…joy and excitement…all of it. He has given us the words to speak, to pray, to be in relationship with Him when our faith wanes, when the heaviness of this life seems to push down and make us want to trudge away with our own emotions. He speaks, so that we may have the words to come to Him.
This season of words that won’t come is still very present for me, but I also know that to open His Word and pray them over myself, over others, to speak His Name is enough…it’s more than enough because He has provided…He has heard…and He meets me here each and every moment, even in the silence, He knows. So I take up this prayer again…for others, for myself, for Him…to be a part of the relationship I need and He desires for me.