Mind the Gap.


That is how long I have been single by the IRS and government standards. When the only options on your taxes or forms you fill out officially are Single, Married, Divorced, or Widowed you have to push yourself into that box of single. I must be honest and say there are days I have joyfully checked that box, but the majority of the time I grudgingly do so. I don’t like being boxed in. Especially when I am joyfully in a relationship.

The more I have thought on this the last few months, as I saw my book idea get ever put on hold, the more I realized something so pivotal in this single journey. There’s a gap. There’s a gap between single and married that we don’t like to talk about much in Christian world. There’s a gap in the conversation and the reality of dating for those in the church.

As singles we are taught that “someday” will happen. That someday you’ll find that one that God has intended for you. And if you are like me, there have been far too many times where I have envisioned roundhouse kicking the person who has made that statement. The jump is then to marriage…not to living out your faith in dating. The assumption is that dating is easy and “when you know, you know.” While I have seen that true for some people, the vast majority of singles go through dating with such a fog and hampered by questions they ultimately stay in one relationship far too long because they just couldn’t quite figure out how to date and be in a couple. When they do, they realize this person isn’t for them. This stems from years of dating without really know what to do, and maybe that was just my inexperienced self, but from conversations I have had with some single and dating friends recently, this seems to be rather common.

Why am I writing all this? Because I wanted to announce (and put some accountability out there for people to call me on) that I am pursuing writing in a new form. I am going to be venturing out to write a book on dating in faith. I am still currently at work on the single journey idea, but I also recognize that I am a certain place of fertile writing in a new area. I count it a blessing and I feel led to pursue this avenue as well.

I believe there’s a gap, and for the single and dating, we need to be minding that gap more now than ever. Please be in prayer for me as I begin this journey of writing in a new realm. The devil has already been at work in various ways to derail and unhinge this from starting. He uses people in such strong and frustrating ways, but I know God has led me to write on this more now than ever.