It was bound to happen. At the ripe (and I do mean ripe y’all) age of 36 I got a ma’am from a guy that looked to be about 35 and a half.
I was leaving the gym one night and he was parked next to me, had his big ol’ truck’s door flung all the way open and was doing his post-workout “let me situate all my stuff” in his truck. I stood to the side and he looked up and said “Oh sorry about that ma’am” and let me through to get into my car.
Let me be clear, I have been ma’amed before. Mostly by kiddos or college students. To be honest I hadn’t really taken offense to any of it because we’re in the South, it’s part of our learning. You ma’am and sir everyone who is in a semblance of authority or out of respect. But this one y’all, this guy got me. It’s been several weeks and I still am thinking on it.
Because I haven’t really thought what a specific age would be like for me personally. I honestly was never one to say “by 40 I’ll have a husband, a cute refurbed ranch house and two very stubborn children who both take after their father. Oh and that dog I have always dreamed of.” It just wasn’t me, and it still isn’t. Maybe that’s a good thing, but part of me started thinking after I heard the word ma’am come out of this stranger’s mouth that it wasn’t.
I get he was being respectful but it’s opened up a huge thought train in my mind of future planning and where I often tend to cut ties with life on. Yes I have a 401(k) and have a mortgage, so obviously I plan for some future. But I have over the years never really drawn out much beyond the present state of affairs for my life. I jokingly, when asked by friends or family, point to Scripture in my obvious state of holiness saying “Only a fool makes plans and tells them to God.”
But there’s something to be said for pushing towards a future because when I dig into this deeper I find that I don’t think I am truly capable of one. I worry that setting some sort of goal (like writing a book) without putting a marker or date on it, will mean that I will get around to it eventually but have no means for monumental let down if I don’t. That by not putting any investment into some future plans, some hallmarks or goals, I am essentially setting myself up for mediocre living and underperforming to the potential God knows I have.
Am I the only one that does this? That sits in a consistent 45 mph drive and allows life to continue on without looking at where the GPS could take me if I pushed the pedal down or put my hands to the wheel? For me it took hearing a guy call me ma’am to jar me into this space of future, of seeing where life was letting me coast on cruise and where I was allowing myself to sit unchallenged and undefined, sifting through presentness without much concern for future. I am often here for the present making sure I am all the way into it but allowing the future to just come as it may, but now I am finding at this ripe age of 36 that future Sara would like some say in what present Sara is spending her time in, what she isn’t setting aside time to do, and where her goals are being set.
Have you ever had a ma’am moment that shocked you into seeing something about yourself you hadn’t realized was a problem? Where is it you need to set a focus or goal on in the future for yourself?