Some days are just bad. Some days you just get overwhelmed, emotional and feeling as if it just won’t stop…I joyfully call those days Mondays. I don’t know what you all call them, but that’s my label for them.
Those Mondays where you find no matter how much you strive, how much you churn out or do in your own self, it just doesn’t get you far. It doesn’t amount to much and you look to find that you now have even more. A certain level of panic, anxiety and frustration sets in for me when that happens. It’s almost like I am being pulled by an undertow in the ocean and I am struggling to no avail.
You see though, that’s exactly it. I am the one struggling. I am the one fighting. I find it is so me-centered that I haven’t let much, if any, of God in. I haven’t sought Him out to be my Strength, my Comfort, my Help, my Healer. I want to make sure I get it done and then I get the glory. But I don’t get it done, and find my head a mess, my heart in turmoil and my frustrations pouring out of my mouth.
My recent prayer has been for God to make me aware of those times and my need for Him, not more of myself. To make my utter dependence on Him known to me, and that it is only in Him am I able to do anything. I had one of those Mondays but found myself doing the same old thing of relying upon self rather than trusting in Him. Throughout the day I kept spinning in my own tracks, never really making headway and seeing the mounting issues. As I reflected afterward I kept coming back to these verses below, and how I am thankful for a new morning. Something I have reflected on recently here.
Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. Lamentations 3:22, 23
But I hadn’t focused on the consumed part. Because of His love, we aren’t consumed. I am here, present and moving forward. But it’s because of His love, for me, for you that the struggles of yesterday did not consume me, they don’t take over today. And while I am still working on the reliance of Him in the moment of Mondays (as there will be more) I know that through His love I am not consumed. I am not overtaken. Even in my failings and faults, when I strive in my own strength, He doesn’t fail.
So I greet a Tuesday with hope, love, and new mercies.