Last week I shared about how you are more than your title, more than your work. I believe that to be 100% true, and also it’s what God says about us that matters. I worry though that we often fall into a pit on the other side.
Where you think you deserve more than what your title says, or what God has given you in the now. Or maybe it’s just me that has had these thoughts over the years.
But I am guessing that’s not the case…
I look around me at what others have, examine my own giftings from God, and say “Excuse me, I believe wholeheartedly I can have what they do. This right here in my life? That’s great and all but I should get more. I should have more to my name. I have proven I am worthy of it, so why not give it to me?”
Do we actually say this? Probably not. But we live it out with the words we say and the things we do in our lives towards God and His giftings. We look at friends or coworkers wondering why they have the thing which we believe we should have to, after all we have shown we are in Christ’s leading. Many call this coveting or fear of missing out.
When you dig into though I believe we have a worth complex. We do, we strive, we obtain to be called worthy. To prove our worth. Proving our worth though isn’t where efforts should be placed as children of God. Our worth is defined by God Himself, who calls us heirs with Christ. When Christ looks at the 12 as He prepares to send them, He speaks our worth out saying we are worth far more than sparrows. He values us, when we can do nothing for Him, to the point of giving up His life for us. Even in our attempts to prove our worth like Peter.
When I believe I desire more than what I am given, when my mind foolishly deceives me into thinking that I deserve more than I pray I remember the story of Korah in Numbers 16. You see Korah thought the same thing, as Moses and Aaron (called leaders by God for His people) gave the responsibilities to the tribes among them as appointed by God. Korah and his friends felt they deserved more than to serve in the tabernacle. They wanted holy priesthood in addition to those already appointed. They speak out against God, falsely lay claim of being led out of the Promised Land of Egypt to die in the wilderness and call their leader a deceiver. Korah and his team soon found themselves cast out by God in a pit that swallowed them up, literally by fire.
When we fall prey to the lies of deserving more than, we can find ourselves in this same pit. We become consumed with what God isn’t giving us but everyone else is getting. It pushes us farther from community, from Him and from any relationship we need.
But we have a God who redeems us. He gives as He sees fit that is for our good. Often I don’t want to trust in Him for that. I want to usurp Him and tell Him what is for the good of me. But He knows. When I forget that I truly deserve nothing but death, He is there to remind me that my worth lay in Him, not in titles, responsibilities, relationships or the lack of any thereof. That strivings and yammerings cease when I realize my value is defined by God who needs nothing from me but me. Just me. Not the stuff. When I live out what He has gifted me with in the right now, I grow closer to Him and appreciate Him more. I draw closer in to Him and not the pit of consuming worth.