Today was the day. I had an extra pass to a movie screening this week as the opening to see if he wanted to go out. I thought if I finally saw him I would just ask. It has to do with this whole “do something you’ve never done before” idea I am carrying with me this year.
My interest in this guy goes back to April of last year. I met him at a service event and we chatted. But after that I couldn’t bring myself to really strike up a conversation with him…On a whim over the summer I thought I’d facebook message him, kinda joking that it was easier that way…no response. So life moves on and we get to November when I let it slip to a friend of his that I think he’s cute…seriously, am I in middle school? What has gotten in to me? (That’s what I asked myself all through December as I weighed my words and how very immature I was being about this interest in a guy I did not even know)
So here we are today. Yes, today, I think I am just going to do it. When I am met with nothing short of uninterest. That’s truly the only way to describe. Did I ask him? No, because I was greeted with a mumbled “hi” and staring at a phone.
Why did I share all this with you all? Simply so I can share that it’s okay if he’s not interested. It doesn’t mean he’s the worst person in the world, or that he doesn’t deserve to be acknowledged. It simply means that he’s not that into me as I had been with him.
It’s a kick to the ego and pride a bit, and I think we could all say that hurts. Here’s the thing, life goes on. I am not balled up in the floor worrying over what it is about me that he’s not into. I am going to keep being the me that I am growing into, that God is molding and making.
I do hope there’s a point where I can be friends with this guy because he seems like a cool guy, who serves and is interesting. It doesn’t mean I close off having any friendship with him or paint him as some horrible person. But I also don’t allow it to be a reflection of myself. There just wasn’t an interest there.
I think we have become a female population that believes if a guy isn’t interested that we must overhaul all that we are in order for him to want to be with us. Ladies, no. Fellas, I seriously love ya but you gotta stop finding these molds of perfection too. They simply aren’t real. They lead to alot of pain, for all of us.
The next time there’s an interest there, go for it. And if it’s not reciprocated, if he doesn’t call after that first date, or you don’t get a like back, remember it’s okay. It’s not about who you are (unless you are a hoarder of all things cat, and then maybe it’s a little about you). It’s not the end of all things though. It’s a part of who you are becoming and how you respond to it that speaks volumes, not if he’s not into you.