“It’s not about who you are trying to find, it’s about who you are becoming.” -Louie Giglio
I wish I had those words tucked away earlier. I wish I could look back at my 18 year old self, my 22 year old self and even my 30 year old self and whisper what Louie says so well.
I even wish I had these words the other night as I was in a conversation with friends about a budding interest between one of my friends and a guy. I saw her getting emotionally invested so quickly because there’s an overwhelming fear of aloneness she is wrestling with presently. I think as singles, we all wrestle with those from time-to-time. With the holidays fully thrust upon us I can say this time of year is always a harsh reminder to us as well if we aren’t in relationship with someone.
As I discovered this quote from Giglio I kept going back to my friend. Her words and heart that is seeking to find someone for life. In singleness though I am seeing that it’s about who I am becoming, not who I find-to affirm Giglio in his message. Because I am becoming someone who desires after what God desires for me. There have been times in prior years when that wasn’t the case, where I was pursuing selfish things (and find I still do) but now I am recognizing it all the more in me and my heart wants to be after what God’s after.
Who I was at 25 was not who I was at 30 and it’s not who I am now. I am ever becoming who it is God has designed me to be. When I put finding someone ahead of becoming someone then I put fleshly pursuits ahead of Godly desires. Do I think finding that one for your help mate is a bad thing? Absolutely not.
But sometimes the things which are good are deceptive in drawing us away from our focus of seeking who God is making us to be. Who we need to be, not for someone else, but for us and God. If it draws me from Him then it’s an idol. It’s something I am choosing to place in front of me rather than God. Even when it’s a good thing, even when it’s something He desires for me. He doesn’t desire me putting someone else above Him. That I know for certain.
And who I am becoming in Him means I am a better version of myself than I was yesterday or the day before. When I am turned and focusing on Him and who I am becoming in Him, I don’t worry about finding someone because I have found Him.
And He found me.