My youngest nephew has an upcoming birthday, so this weekend I had his presents with me for a visit. At the mention of gifts, he began to blatantly ask for them at random times-in the midst of playing, right before a meal, right before we went out the door. He even so much as came running down the hallway saying “What?! What?!” and when I said “Yes dear sweet lovingly adorable young nephew of mine.” (Not really but let’s indulge a bit, shall we?) He followed up with, “Oh, I thought I heard someone say it was time for presents now.”
Dead stare at him.
I kid you not.
My 33 year old self had no reaction to the obvious desire in this child, soon to be six, for his gifts he felt I was holding out on him. Twice I watched him pout when I told him that it wasn’t quite time, and there would be a more perfect time to give them.
When I did give him the art easel and Ninja Turtles pillow pal, he gushed with excitement. He immediately wanted to put them both to use, opting more for the easel in drawing pictures from the crafts we had done just an hour before. He was so proud of those drawings and could sit for hours focused on that task, of using his gift.
I thought about that today as I drove back…I dwelt on how my nephew acted prior to the gifts, coming and begging, even so far as “hearing” that it was time for them to be given. I know I do the same thing when I feel God has waved a gift, the mere hint of it’s availability and I can not take my mind from it. All I want is that one thing and I won’t be appeased with anything else.
He consistently speaks patience, stillness, peace and joy with current things into life, that I should not be preoccupied on what I perceive is His holding out on me. But I do, I feel like He’s holding back what He’s giving away to others without merit or cause.
What a view to have of myself from the other side! That I am not happy with the other gifts given, I want the one I have heard mention of He has for me. Right now. This very instant. If I don’t? Well then I’ll pout and have nothing to do with Him. I will begrudgingly speak to Him, but I won’t let Him in.
Oh boy, did that rock my boat quite a bit…and made me realize how I treat God in some instances. That I may have all these beautiful gifts, some of which I rarely touch or use, but I want more. I want the one thing I know He’s withholding, because I know better than He does about myself. That if I had that one gift I would use the other ones more, I would value them in light of having this one right here.
He knows me better. He knows for a while I may value that gift, but it probably won’t make me exude more patience, be ever more filled with joy or even obedient in what He’s already called me to do.
He is the Father, I am the child.
I must remember that as I seek more of Him not more from Him. He gives abundantly and exceedingly more than I could imagine, but how am I valuing what He’s already given as I anticipate how He will continue that in my life? He does not withhold goodness from us as we so often like to believe. I am beginning to see that He waits for the time He knows is best to continue giving-not to withhold out of a spiteful nature. We think too small of our Sovereign God, He resembles our actions and motives instead of us mimicking His when we do that.