In college I had this massive crush on a guy. It was ridiculously all-consuming. I would sit and day dream about him and what it would be like to date him, how different and grand my life would be if I only dated him. Twelve years down the road I look at those moments, and some journal entries I wrote about him, and laugh.
I think we have a real danger though at whatever age to make a man, whether we are dating or married, the focus of our happiness. That by getting to that point, whether it’s having him ask you out or ask you to marry him, we have found where our happiness will be produced.
From vast experience and talking to others, let’s put that lie to rest right now. Happiness cannot be purely found in another person. We cannot be dependent upon them for the life we want. We have wrongly placed our life plans in the hands of someone who is just as fallible and sinful as we are. If we aren’t careful we quickly will begin worshiping the person, or the image of the best life for us with them.
That, my friends, is idolatry.
The moment we place anything above God as important or the source of our contentment or the foundation for our lives is the moment we begin to mold that golden calf. Yes, relationships are good things. Marriage is a covenant God set out for us. However when we choose to look at that to base our lives on and place the person we are in the relationship with as the source of that life and contentment, we set ourselves up for lessons in idol worship and disobedience.
I am guilty of it myself. Just like the story above, I have even found myself in recent years being more focused on having a relationship with someone else than on having one with God. I became contentment focused rather than obediently minded. Yes men are good. God created them, therefore they are in His image. But we live in a fallen state, where we have to be mindful of our own propensity to look towards what tempts us in order to fulfill us. The temptation of happiness secured in a physical human being is awfully tempting. The thoughts that take us down that road are incredibly delightful.
But they are also idols which we place at the forefront of our minds and our hearts, giving open invitation to divert our hearts from our first love, our one true love. The love that can only be found in Him.
Today, take stock of the thoughts and ways in which you are placing a relationship or a person in the seat that should only be occupied by God. This could even be the thought of a potential relationship as well.