Day 13-Vulnerability

I have a pretty distinct scar on my left knee. It came from a bike accident I had when I was around eight years old. I have another scar on my right pinky. I think it might be from the same bike accident, or another one altogether.

My bike and I were good buddies growing up. I didn’t learn to ride until I was around seven. Once I did, you could not contain me in the house. Granted there were seven other kids in the immediate neighborhood, so attempting to contain me anyways would have been a fruitless effort. But I had accidents quite often on that hot pink Mongoose. Mainly coming out or turning into the driveway to our house.

I still bear those scars to this day.

I think we all bear some scars from incidents a little too close to home. As women we will try everything to cover them up, won’t we? Creams, salves, makeup will often be vain attempts to hide a lasting scar.

Inwardly we pull away. We put up walls. We make agreements that we will never be like that or allow that to happen to us again. We control and even go so far as to manipulate, in order to hide ourselves away. The parts that have experienced hurt and pain.

We become so good at building walls that we encourage others to do the same. We don’t fight to tear them down in one another, instead we encourage seclusion and closing off emotions. It’s all because we no longer, after years of scar buildup, understand to be vulnerable is how we are made.

Women are relational. We crave it. Yet we shut off pieces of ourselves until we are a shell of a person simply to keep from feeling that hurt from long ago. We entrust it only to ourselves to protect. And protect it we do at all costs. Even to the detriment of our long-term relationships and selves.

Instead we can and should be vulnerable. With the One who has been there through it. In order to be wife material, we have to be vulnerable to what parts of us have been closed off because of hurt, pain and even abuse. We have to be open with God-Father, Son and Holy Spirit in this. Knowing He cannot take it away but that He understands.  After all Isaiah 53:3 tells us that He was a man of sorrows, acquainted with the deepest grief. He knows it.

But until we start removing the layers of walls, the makeup we use to hide our internal scars to Him we will never be at a place where we can be vulnerable with the man called to protect us-our husbands. To be vulnerable with God is to be true to who we are, to lay bear our heart’s grief, a heart scarred and broken, because He desires it. He longs for our vulnerable selves to fully embrace us and meet us on that road, running with open arms of healing.

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