Day 12-The Truthful Woman

Being single. We have all heard the platitudes, the awkward comments at family gatherings, and my favorite comment “I don’t know why you haven’t found someone yet.

You know, I haven’t even thought of that. You mean I need to look?

I apologize for my sarcasm, but when you’ve been single 33 years you tend to build a thick layer of it around your life when it comes to comments on your marital status, or lack of one.

I feel like I can say this here among friends.

Sometimes being single just absolutely sucks. Knowing you are the one who has to cook the meal, pay all the bills, take out the trash, do the laundry AND clean the car can get to be aggravating at times. Getting the pity looks when you sit alone at church or eat alone in a restaurant because you really want to eat there at that moment…it can push you to irritation and frustration.

The truth of the matter is…that is okay.

It is…It’s absolutely okay to admit that right now, it sucks to be single. The waiting, the dating, and the lack thereof too can be crappy.

It’s okay to sit and be weary of being single. Of looking down the years you have ahead of you and wondering if it’s just going to be a continuation of the current life. It’s okay to dwell in this moment of questioning whether you should have stayed with that person or if you’ll ever have another opportunity at love.

Because that’s where you are at. It’s being honest with what you are feeling.

I know I don’t honor that. I tell myself to get over it and move on. Yesterday I realized that I have to honor my truth in this time. I don’t believe it’s self-pity, as long as I don’t continue to let it dictate my self-worth or bear itself out continually in my life.

Truthfully there are days, moments, instances when I just hate being single. I don’t want to hear the platitude of “enjoy this time of alone.” Nope, I just want to be in this truth that I am tired of single. If we cannot be honest with ourselves about what we are feeling, and knowing God is right there with us in that moment of suffering (because it is suffering, don’t lie to yourself that it is not), then we aren’t on the road to wife material.

We must be truthful and honest about it now, while we are feeling it and it is ever present-in the day, the moment or the hour. It’s okay not to pick yourself up by the bootstraps. We weren’t meant to…

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