Do you ever experience a time of avoidance? In trying to dodge something because of the difficult nature of it or the awkwardness that might stem from it? Just me? Okay good.
As you can tell, today’s post could go quickly towards the awkward and uncomfortable. But you know, I gotta write about it or this whole wife material postings will be left wanting.
To be honest it’s been hard to address purity because for me, it has been difficult to wrap my head around what that looks like for the life of a believer. Some things are pretty obvious. But the more I dive in, the more I find that it’s so much more than abstaining from sex.
I read a book last year called Boundaries in Dating by Dr. Henry Cloud. (sidenote, I’m a big fan of all of his books) It caused me to see there’s a purity we forget to address in our hearts and minds as well. When we concentrate on those, I find it’s much easier to not be drawn down a path of doubts and questions in relation to abstinence.
I have found when I am intentionally remaining pure in heart and mind, not allowing the suggestive remarks or what the world says is acceptable in relationships, I am able to fully grasp and take responsibility for my own purity. I won’t sit here and say it’s easy, that it’s all puffy clouds and unicorns.
I have struggled in it. I am willing to wager you have as well. So often we put the blame on guys for being all about the physical in relationships (and yes they do live into the stereotype), however we have to accept some of the responsibility in that too. Do we guard our hearts and minds from it? Do we set boundaries and keep to them? Do we invite things in which would then cause us to stumble? I know I have. Guilty party of one.
But you know what? Each day I get a new start. I get to reset in His mercy and newness to begin to fight the battle of purity of my heart, my mind, and my body. He reminds me I am not alone in this, if I will only just give it to Him first rather than strive on my own. Our strivings for purity will always fail, because we are not perfect, but He is. And that’s pretty amazing to dwell on.
In being God’s likeness, we need to develop boundaries like God.
Dr. Henry Cloud, Boundaries in Dating