I have started many sentences and thoughts with that phrase. I am willing to bet you have as well. The harshest one though is thinking the phrase, “By now, I thought I would be married, with kids.”
That one we don’t vocalize too often as single women. If we do, it is to our very closest friends or family. I know I do not like to admit that one stings. It cuts down to the core, deep in the darkest parts of the heart where you really thought it was hidden.
I have actually only said those words once aloud. Hearing myself admit to a dream that I too often have pushed aside or scoffed at was therapeutic. It was also a call from my heart, telling me that I do not listen enough to it-that I go into head logic more than I should.
By now is a time stamp we place on our lives, or on other’s lives. Just a couple of weeks ago, my 11 year old nephew asked when I was getting married and having kids because he wants to hold a baby…
uhm, say what now?
Even the kids are asking. But why?
At 33 I am having the best year. It is my Jesus Year. I am throwing expectations on my life out the window, including the very ones I have placed on them. And you should too.
Yes, go for it when someone asks you out that you are interested or if you don’t know them to immediately say no. Be cautious on who you open your heart up to in relationships. Try on fun shoes even when you have no where to currently wear them to. Go on a road trip, alone. Explore. Be the best you that you can be, and have the best time you can possibly have as yourself.
After all, by now you should know better than to let even the voices within boss you around.