This writing thing…it is a terrifying beast to hold onto. To grasp and be in control of. I think that is why I haven’t firmly gotten it under wraps because I am realizing something very significant in it. It took an exchange with a friend to fully get it though.
I reached out recently to a friend as I questioned my writing. I have been doubting it for the better part of a year, and consistently since it was laid on my heart several years ago. Honestly I asked for his advice because he will straight shoot me and give me the hard truth when no one else will. He won’t spare an ego, and I am grateful for a friend such as him.
He shared some pretty powerful words which are leaving an impression on me. Words that God knew I needed to hear, just then and even still. One particular truth he spoke that I want to share with you all as it may hit another area of your life:
You are not your own, you are His. So then, if you are led by Him, your desires are not your own.
Do you see that? Did it feel like a two by four coming across your face repeatedly? It did for me. Then it sent me searching for an oft quoted verse.
Delight yourself also in the Lord, and He shall give you the desires of your heart. Psalm 37:4
What does it mean for you, for me, to delight in the Lord? It means we find great satisfaction and joy in Him. Not fleeting happiness, not a passing fancy-pure unadulterated joy.
So what then are the desires of a heart which delights in the Lord, that finds utter happiness in Him? To know God. To love God. And to live to God. “To please Him and be pleased in Him,” as Matthew Henry states in one of his commentaries on this psalm.
In my daily pursuits I hadn’t given much thought to how the desires of my heart should match up to to His-how they should actually be of Him and for Him. Something my flesh doesn’t like too kindly to me realizing. My own desires? Well they reek of selfish gain, idol worship, and making much of me.
Oh but His desires of my heart? Oh they do not even compare. It is making much of Him, pushing back the darkness with the Light that outshines any marquee. Ready and willingly laying aside these pittance desires for the grandest of all-His for my heart. That. That right there is the desire of my heart worth clinging to with firm hands, worth pursuing at all costs.
I truly believe that each desire of a heart found in Christ is unique for His children. They are holy, good and purposeful desires crafted by the Infinite Creator, who doesn’t withhold the good from those who love Him. My passionate desire to write? That’s something He crafted in me, to give back to Him, to give Him the glory with. Not something to use for self-seeking.
I hadn’t realized that fully until now-until His truth came from a friend’s heart for my soul to finally take hold. They cannot be ignored, nor stuffed aside for the ones of our own heart, because the heart will never truly delight in the faux knock-offs this world and this flesh like to distract us with. No, this heart desires the beauty and intricacies of what flows directly from the fountain of delight-God in truth, in love, in life.
What is God pushing you to desire for your heart? Are you delighting in Him and seeking that desire fully? Take time today to lay hold of the truth that when we commit our way to the Lord, trust in Him, and He will act. Not according to our expectation but according to His will and good for your life.