Leggo My Ego

How do you cope in difficulty? When you face a trial, which may not be of your own making, how do you respond or react?

For the majority of my life I have responded in a very selfish manner-thinking that the woe is me attitude is the best course for myself and the situation. Recently I was reminded of what that looks like, as God put the mirror up to my reaction in a situation. I could easily point to influences around me for rubbing off, but the truth is, that’s not the case. I choose how I respond, no one else.

How I respond or react says as much about my heart and my priorities as it does for me. As I watched the situation unfold before me this time, I saw there were options. I could continue to respond in the manner I had, knowing it would only cause more harm on my heart and continue the spiral of worry and anxiety. On the other hand, I could examine my heart, see where God would have me be in the situation and what I could learn from it.

The situation may truly suck, and it may be forced upon me, but it cannot force a reaction or response. Many, many things are beyond my control, but they are not beyond God’s. Everything must pass through His permission, as Tim Miller shared this weekend. My reaction? Well it should also pass through Him.

So why would I choose to respond in myself when I live in Him daily? When I proclaim I am His child and have His Spirit within me, why would I choose anything other than His will and purpose?

My ego, my selfishness has to die in order for me to grow and be more in His will. I will not grow, I will not feel the closeness of Him when my ego takes root and puts itself first. My ego seeks only itself, and what it can get for itself in a situation. Until I come humbly before Him, sacrificing my ego on the altar, I will only be Sara-focused and Sara-centered.

Thankfully, by His grace, I am able to see that now and can address it in me more and more. I definitely believe that He used a circumstance to get me out of myself, to wring me out and fill me with Him. To see how I can respond in His time and purpose instead of my own.

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