The Window’s Ajar

I have a window at the top of my stair well. I love how light floods in at certain times of the day there. As I went to open the blinds on the window I happened to look out and see water had pooled at the top of the frame from the rain we had gotten over the last few days. That’s when I really saw it.

The window was ajar. Like a good two inches.

I looked at the bottom and saw it was not wet underneath nor had any water gotten in. Thankfully nothing seemed to be damaged and I quickly shut and locked it. Then I started to think about when I had opened that window. In the two months I have been in my home I have not opened that window once. Thus making me ponder on the fact that it had been ajar for a while without my notice.

I go by that window daily. Multiples times a day. There it stood partially open. Allowing not only energy and air out, but the outside in.

The same could be said for the heart. More importantly my heart.

For quite some time (and by time I mean years) I have kept my heart ajar. With a small filter, it’s remained open to letting some things filter in and alot of it to flow out. And while it is a good, and right thing to have an open heart, I did not realize what I was allowing to flow in. You see I had allowed in the whisper of a lie and it had set up residence in my heart. It was small and inconsequential at the time, but years down the road I see the infestation within my heart.

A whisper of “you can be the one.” Seems so harmless, right?

When that whisper grows into “you are the one” and it clouds your thinking and judgement. It points to a past and never to a future, or even a realized present. It overruns your thinking in situations, conversations and encounters. It is a me focused way of living, or existing I should say. While it is an exhausting business to dig deep and find the root of the issue, it’s also breathtakingly releasing to know the problem was there all along.

It’s a disgusting rodent to root out in your heart, but one that requires a complete fumigation. Mine went unchecked to the point where the heart had to be tented and I had to move out of it for a few days. I had to step aside and see that I was being shown over and over where it was manifesting and how I needed to set about pulling up the carpet and shutting the windows. Does this mean a closed-off heart? Absolutely not! I just know that I have to be aware of when the bugs attempt to get in to have a screen in place. I must filter and address, spot shooting anything that might slip in undetected.

Ultimately I know I cannot keep the window ajar for periods of time. It could lead to a higher price to pay down the road and one that goes beyond just the energy lost.

 

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