Do you ever look around, take stock of your life and wonder how you got there? How you got to that particular moment, that particular season, or that particular circumstance? You look in the mirror and think, “This isn’t where I thought I would be at this point. This isn’t who I thought I would be at this point.”
I’ve talked about unmet expectations before, but this goes into another direction. Recently I’ve found that taking pauses and scanning myself for thoughts, behaviors, actions that should send up a red flag. I have been surprised at what I have found when I purposefully pause in life to look at myself, taking stock of my own self, my beliefs and values.
I have to be honest that when I do, there’s some things I just don’t like and I wonder how I got there or where I picked that up. One instance that I can point to where I was shocked at what I found when I scanned my environment was an unhealthy influence of people I had chosen to let in my life. I discovered (because I had to dig deeper) that it was mixed with my innate fleshly desire to please others and it made for a bad Sara. A Sara who didn’t really look like the person God created me to be…it looked more like a Sara which was trying to create her own self in her own image.
It is as if I stood in a body scan at the airport and was shocked that I had a banned carry-on item. Or the metal detector going off because I had forgotten about the loose change in my pocket. It wasn’t an obvious choice, but it was something I was carrying with me daily that led to hassle and distress. It bore weight I had been accustomed to rather than removing.
My belief is that we all need a bit of body scanning to understand where we are in our walk, in our life, in our relationships and in our work. You can easily look up one day and realize you have allowed things, people, situations to happen in your life that you really weren’t in tune with or agreeing with without voicing your truth. In a way in which it reflects your true self, and not other influences. Then maybe you’ll find where you should have been, where you thought you might have been…or maybe in an even better place than you could ever fathom.
If you are wise and understand God’s ways, prove it by living an honorable life, doing good works with the humility that comes from wisdom. But if you are bitterly jealous and there is selfish ambition in your heart, don’t cover up the truth with boasting and lying. For jealousy and selfishness are not God’s kind of wisdom. Such things are earthly, unspiritual, and demonic. For wherever there is jealousy and selfish ambition, there you will find disorder and evil of every kind.