The Head and the Heart (or what a cd taught me about my own)

I burn way too many cds for my own good. So many in fact I have run out of space to store them in my car…why I usually like to listen to them on those often long(ish) trips to see family & friends on the other side of the plateau.

Almost every time I get in the car for the last week one cd keeps falling down on me and skittering across the passenger seat. Naturally one would think I just slide it into the console. But no. I keep resleaving it above my head in the visor, only to have it come sliding back out each and every time I get in the car.

Finally the other day I flipped it over to see what cd was causing such a hub-bub and being difficult. It was The Head and the Heart‘s cd. I couldn’t let that go after seeing what band it was…because I overthink things obviously, but also because my own head and heart are akin to that cd. 

My head and my heart over the last few months has been somewhat disjointed. Flitting across and around. Not staying in one place for very long. And never resting securely where they should be. Often one wants what the other knows isn’t good for it, and vice versa. They have long conversations and remind one another of things long forgotten…long forgiven.

But they also get in sync…understanding the need to work together and not in tension. To allow one to feel and the other to learn. To both grow and understand. While the union is not perfect, and I doubt it will be, my head and my heart are slowly realizing that unity within is much stronger than a separated state.

Both are gifts given, entrusted in me to care for and look after, neither are mine to give away. And when I attempt to, either by wondering thoughts or fleeting emotions, I am reminded of where they are securely kept. Not in my hands and not in my grasp to slip out…

But in a holy God’s, who knows their fragility and their strength in equal parts, who knows how to care for them and securely use them for the absolute best. For Him, His glory and my good.

Why do you continue to invite punishment?
    Must you rebel forever?
Your head is injured,
    and your heart is sick.

Isaiah 1:5

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