Verbally Vomiting on God.

I’m sorry for verbally vomiting on you like that the other day.

I wish I hadn’t dumped my stuff all over you like that.

My stuff is just so trivial compared to the battles others are in the midst of.

I always apologize to friends after I share what has been going on in my life, which often entails my emotions flowing out of my eyes. I’ll stammer, head down, muttering one of those phrases above. I will tell them how sorry I am for being selfish with my emotions and my anxieties, knowing they have their own fears and doubts they carry around.

Yesterday as I was reading a book on craving God in life instead of other things or people, the verse below popped up.

Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you. Be self-controlled and alert. 1 Peter 5:7-8

The emotion, and revelation, of seeing that verse at that moment overwhelmed me. The reason being that I do the exact same thing to God that I do with my friends. I will either keep quiet about what my fears are, what anxieties I am holding in and let them overwhelm me to the point of verbal vomit exploding forth. Or I will apologize for telling Him anything that I am feeling (yeah He already knows, but…) because I feel like I am a nuisance or being selfish.

Something I am realizing during this Christmas season is that God cares. He cared so much to send His Son to redeem and save me, to redeem and save you, then He must care about my stuff no matter how trivial I feel it to be. He cares for a heart filled with anxiety over the future, a heart riddled with fear of the unknown day ahead. It is not an annoyance for Him, when I come before Him a ball of emotions and worry to lay it down, to listen, to hope for healing.

Peter follows up that sentence with having self-control, being alert. I found that odd when I first stopped and considered the verse in depth. Then I saw that so much of the fear and anxiety can come from a place or a person whom the devil uses. What do I allow when I am not exercising self-control? I allow my eyes to wonder to those who are at a different place in their life journey, which sparks my fear. When you aren’t alert to what is around you the state of your heart becomes affected. Not only does He ask for me to cast my cares upon Him, leaving my anxieties where they are, but He asks me to have self-control and be alert to life. Alert to what it is I am allowing into my heart in order to care for me.

He cares for you today, just like He did yesterday and just like He will tomorrow. He cares for me. I simply must have self-control and take watch to be alert for what the devil may use to cause my fears to build, the anxieties to overflow once more. Verse nine closes out the section well, so I pray it for you today, as I pray it for myself, that we aren’t alone in our sufferings.

Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that the family of believers throughout the world is undergoing the same kind of sufferings. 

 

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