When I was little and people would ask me what I wanted to be when I grew up, I would often respond with weather girl or Kroger bag boy. I would often pretend I ran my own diner, even using my allowance to buy those diner guest checks when we’d go to Sam’s Club. I had a vivid imagination and planned my life out as a child. I always utilized study hall to get all my homework done so I could enjoy after school activities like basketball/tennis practice, riding my awesome pink BMX, or reading. Even then I was meticulous with my life and how I would spend it.
In college I had it all worked out, internships lined up completely in sync so that I could graduate early and be working in baseball when the season opened in January. (For those who don’t know, the business of baseball season truly starts right after the winter meetings in December) Then the realization struck that I wasn’t enjoying my life. I had spent far too much of it planning for the next step, intricately moving the next chess piece in order to line up my next move, that I looked around to find life wasn’t as fulfilling as I had hoped as a child.
Lately I have been looking at life through a new lens, with the hope and joy of a future that I don’t know for certain. That many questions linger and that I have become okay with in response. I get the choice to react to situations, and I get the opportunity to respond in a way which is can control. I keep coming back to the knowledge that no matter what I plan, God directs my way. He has a way of getting me back to the path He put me on to begin with when I tend to be distracted by the view from over there. He guides, sometimes through some brush and bramble and sometimes through a meadow, but He brings me back onto the journey which He is preparing me for.
I still have plans in my heart and my head. I still strive to accomplish and do, but now I see that planning my own life hasn’t led me anywhere on my own. It hasn’t accomplished much but worry, stress, and frustration. Yet when I consider His way, His guidance, I find I am on a path full of hope…full of promise. And those promises don’t fade with the dream of a being a bag boy at a grocery store…and they don’t need me squeezing them in before lunch.
A man’s heart plans his way, but The Lord directs his steps. Proverbs 16:9