I can identify with Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman just a bit. Not for the whole prostitute made good, but for that moment when Richard Gere sees her waiting in the restaurant for her and he says, “you look stunning when you aren’t fidgeting.” I am a fidgeter in life. In a lot of aspects…
Lately I have seen my fidgeting ways become more prevalent as I sit in a place of unknown and newness. With my personal life now at a place of singleness again, it has been mildly difficult to understand this season, to learn what is being written in my life. I want to mess and squirm to get out of the uncomfortable season that this seems to be.
I want to rush through the process of learning what God is teaching me in this season professionally as well. I am learning that I need to stop messing eventhough my Activator strength is in overdrive at the moment. (that’s not a superpower, but from a StrengthsFinder assessment) I fidget, and get antsy when the only action step is wait.
I alluded to this yesterday on Instagram when I shared that I kept getting the same verse after my workouts recently. Our fitness and recreation department puts “spiritual vitamins” for people to take with them as they leave a class or the facility. After much haggling over the last few days of waiting I got this verse…again:
I laughed…because that’s what Sara(h)s do. But I will be really honest with you all, being still is not a strength of mine. Activating, doing…that’s me. I’ll even color-code it, index it, and file it for you properly. But waiting? Where do I put that? How do I schedule that?
Being still though is crucial to listening. To actually hearing from God. Being still means my hands remain off of things. It means letting go of the grip I have had on some issues and finally letting God do His work in them, but using me in the process, instead of me just messing it up.
Being still looks vastly different for me than it may for you. But I do know that the theme of stillness will keep coming up in my life until I get still. Until I learn what waiting (longsuffering/patience) looks like in my life. Until I see how I reflect that image of Christ’s waiting the way God designed me to bear it. Until I realize that I need only be still, because He fights for me, not against me. That I should stop fidgeting, because the beauty is in the stillness.
The Lord will fight for you, you need only to be still. -Exodus 14:14