I had a friend several years ago, that when we had conversations we had like deep-routed conversations on life and where it was heading for us both. We would discuss how God was working and where He was leading us. It would be hours long conversations, and they were soul-gutting good conversations. Unfortunately that friendship got marred over some rather petty stuff (isn’t that always the case?) and we stopped talking to one another as life moved us both onto different paths.
About a week ago I was reading a particular book and with one simple statement I was wondering how my friend was, and aching to have some soul-deepening conversation. I have kept this friend’s number in my phone for several years, and finally I felt a nudge to simply say that they were on my mind. So I did.
Let me be clear that I don’t often follow through on those nudgings. It is few and far between.
A text conversation began. While it was and is still a bit awkward, I do have to say it was a breath I needed in the midst of so much right now. It was refreshing and there was a small bit of healing. Will we be good friends again? Probably not. I think that level of friendship fell away years ago. Will we be able to text and chat on occasion when the moment hits? I do believe so.
Do you have those friendships that need some mending? Is there a certain person who comes to mind when you read this and think, “but you don’t know what happened between us?” You are right. I really don’t. But I know I am called to swallow my pride when I have those nudgings and I am called to act upon them. No, I may not want to but it’s not me running this show. Never was, never will be. But what I must do is allow God to speak through me into their lives.
I can do that, and I am beyond willing to let the God of the universe use me, however He sees fit. What happens when I need that word from God in those moments when I have doubts, or questions, or fears running rampant? What happens if that person whom He’s explicitly spoken to decides they just can’t? The wound is too deep or the distance is too far. Neither of those matter when it comes to obedience…when it comes to healing…when it comes to God.