I prayed on whether or not to write this post. I didn’t even start it until I had slept on it and I pray God’s words come through and not my own. I wanted to write something completely different, in fact I had that post all written out in my head. That’s the funny thing about God being a part of your life, and your writing. He speaks very definitively on what He wants you to say when you give your words to Him.
There have been prior posts on forgiveness, but as I enter a new season of life, I felt it necessary to stop and write once more. More importantly, God had me stop and write on it about a particular instance. As I head into this new season, I have some clearer views on some areas of my life. In particular my dating life, and the companion I want to journey through life with in God. In this new season, my focus is on seeing where God is leading and the things He wants me specifically to change or not change about myself.
I knew I couldn’t enter this new time carrying the same drudgery and baggage. That I couldn’t harbor ill-will or ugliness towards others, as I know as a child of His that is no way to act. I struggled on that to be honest. I pointed to what has been done, none of which I instigated or welcomed, and said “but God…” and would point to them. He kept bringing me back to these two passages:
Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?” Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times. Matthew 18: 21-22
“You have heard that it was said, ‘Eye for eye, and tooth for tooth.’But I tell you, do not resist an evil person. If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to them the other cheek also. Matthew 5:38-39
Over and over again I fought it, up until yesterday. One could say this is an open letter to a specific individual. And while this person has caused undue hurt, harassed and stalked me I must forgive them. It does not mean I want them in my life, it does not mean I want any contact from them. What it means is that I forgive you. I truly do. I let all of the ugliness and hurt, the pain and insults you throw out at me, all of it, I let it go.
I forgive you. I pray you can find peace now and let it go as well.
And now, I move on with a new season of life. No longer carrying the burden of unforgiveness, no longer worrying that my words will incite a blowup. Because it is not about you. It never was. It never will be. It’s about the person God is crafting me to be, and now I forgive and move forward with the poem He is writing in my life.