Why do you date?
That question was a bit of a shock to see in a devotion I was thinking of doing over the next several days. I had been looking at options after just completing a 90-day devotion on the life of Paul and stumbled upon a whole slew of relationships and dating. To be honest, I may write about dating from time to time but I shy away from doing studies on them in that way.
The question has been rattling around now in my head since I saw it. I think for a while I dated just to stop being lonely, and I truly believe that’s the case for many people. They just don’t want to be alone, they are tired of that sense of loneliness that comes at a certain hour of the night.
For years I dated to just date, to have the experience and understanding of just dating….or that’s what I told myself when I consistently dated every wrong guy in the greater Knoxville area. I wasted a lot of that time not being comfortable with who I am, so instead I chased guys who could make me forget that I wasn’t truly content with who I was.
With age comes wisdom they say…somehow I don’t think that’s true as I’ve met some very wise people younger than me and some not so smart people older than me. I began to see that why I dated was about me and what ultimately shouted out at me in those relationships (or lack thereof). I wasn’t comfortable in my own skin, with who I was and what God was giving me in the moment.
Dating for me was more about masking who I was and how not okay I was with it, instead of the other person. For me to see the real me, I had to get my heart broken by someone I thought was the absolute best for me. When you aren’t sure of who you are, it’s hard to let someone else love that part of you.
The answer to the question has now changed for me in such a way that I can look back and see the loneliness with gladness. The broken heart with compassion and empathy, knowing that it brought bigger change, acceptance, and contentment. I only wish I had seen that question many years ago.
If you are dating/single, why do you date?