“Don’t compare your beginning to someone else’s middle.”-Jon Acuff
Easier said than done, Acuff. Lately that is all I can dwell upon. I see my fellow 5 Club friends hitting goals and small wins left and right. I have to admit, I get a bit jealous. I am over here plugging away on writing but not really feeling any different about my pursuit.
I keep hearing myself go, Is this how it goes? I see (fill in the blank) getting a huge goal met and I am here, writing…feeling like I am going nowhere.
Do not get me wrong, I love the dreams each person has and the different pursuits they have in going after them…as we all work at different paces with different dreams. For me I just keep seeing life get in the way. I do not want to take that for granted, or deny it in any way. I want to enjoy time with friends, seeing shows, and time spent learning.
I just feel this tight grip that if I am not writing, I am wasting. I need to call it what it is…fear. It’s the small voice telling me that I should pull away, in order to create. The truth is that I am most inspired when I am with others, when I am hearing music, when I am reading. I do not want to force it, but I want to work at it. My desire is to produce good writing, and I can only do that when I am in creative mode. It’s a tension I struggle with daily these days.
and I do not like it, one bit.
Anyone else struggle with the tension of life and pursuits?