Here I Am.

Believing in something you don’t see, at times can be so difficult. As a believer I have to be honest about that and tell the truth to those questioning faith. I struggle. Alot in fact. The greatest struggle I have present is saying I don’t fear this “being alone” thing. In reality, I fight that struggle daily, hearing whispers of hypocrite and liar. Claiming fully those are the whispers of the enemy trying to sell me something far from God’s truth, I turn from them and steady my shoulders as I face the future.

On my drive to church this morning, I heard a very different whisper. A calming One. One that I could never mistake as being anything but from Him. He whispered into my heart saying,”Just give it to Me.”  That’s when I felt His very presence flooding me and revealing some pretty powerful truths in my life.  How differently might my life look if I dwelt upon Him more than him?

God desires nothing more than my obedient pursuit of Him. Instead of pursuing thoughts of a “what-if relationship” I should be pursuing the very real and secure relationship that I already have with Christ. I find it no coincidence that Justin Davis spoke on this very thought of by faith pursuing Christ this morning. I am not sure why I get surprised when God continues His message to me through other means. Probably because I am incredibly stubborn and need to be told multiple times…my mom knows that all too well.

I have given Him so much of my life, yet I still won’t give Him this part…this part that is fearful and questioning and doubting if I believe that He wants the very best for me in this area. I question God, and who am I to do that? That’s what I have begun to ask myself. He wants nothing but the very best for His children, and what if for me that means my best is being single?

Can I view life through His lens when I see it that way? Can I believe and trust in a God who has brought me through so much, a God who sent His very best to die for me? If I don’t give Him this I am being knowingly disobedient. Am I more willing to be disobedient than I am to be fearful?

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