Live out who you were designed to be.
Too often I live out what the fears, the doubts, and the inadequacies tell me to be. I live out what the lies would have me to believe about myself. When I live this way, I live out in such a small insignificant way that impacts no one.
Until two weeks ago.
That Friday changed things for me. Friday was an entire hinge moment spanning 24 hours. It came with me missing an opportunity that God had been working on my heart about for months. I’d committed myself to it, then circumstances shifted and I wasn’t able to fulfill something I had been planning to be a part of.
Then an email came. This email blew the hinges off a rather heavy door I’d used to compartmentalize alot of my life into for the last while. I was humbled in many ways by this email. Why you may ask? Because it came from a student that in reality I did not feel I had much interaction with. This individual told me how much I had impacted them over the last few months. I was a complete mess upon reading the email, internalizing the knowledge of how my seemingly small time commitment to this student had such an impact on them above others that they had chosen me to say these words to via email.
Then I started to reflect on why this was throwing me for a loop (still kind of is as I stop to reflect)…why did this student being honest with me about my work with them unhinge me? Over the last few weeks I have attempted intentional living. Living out who God designed me to be, in all facets of my life. Living out a life that emptied me daily of who I am and filled me instead with Who God desires me to be, the reflection of His Son. There are days I utterly fail at this, and am so filled with my own self that my stubbornness won’t allow God to empty me. But I have noticed the heart change in me, and no longer just behavior management that had been going on for a while. It’s been a transformation of the heart and manifestations of Him in me.
I would truly rather fail at living out who God designed me to be and something that matters, than succeed at a false self and things that do not matter. I would rather impact one, because it’s not about quantity it’s about quality.