I’ve started and stopped writing a post for a couple of weeks now. I’ve felt myself drawing away from God. I fully recognize that fact and know the choices I made to do so. I have allowed my own selfish desires and thoughts to control my mind and my life. I think in some way, we all do. I daily make the decision to seek after God or seek after desires of the flesh. Lately that choice was made easy by the flesh. Choosing distractions, individuals, thoughts, and time to devote to things other than God and His purpose. I sought advice from those that I know I shouldn’t, and followed it. I bought into the deception the devil was selling me, with every ounce of money I had.
There wasn’t some earth-shattering revelation, nor any big booming voice from Him. He didn’t choose to speak to Elijah that way (not that I’m in any way comparing myself to the prophet), so why would He speak to me that way? Nope, this was a still, small, whispering question in my ear…”What are you doing?” I made a decision, a choice, to live for God, being His disciple and reflection, years ago. Yet, here I was, still choosing to rely on myself to get things accomplished.
It doesn’t work that way as a child of the King. You see, choosing to accept being in the household of the Father means I am under His reign, His sovereignty, and His will. I may do things, accomplish goals, and succeed, but none of it is for my gain, my honor, or my glory. It’s all His…always has been, always should be. As A.W. Tozer puts it beautifully, “In myself, nothing; in Him, everything.” Nothing that I do apart from God can be gained, can be boasted, can be stored up…but oh, the things I do in service, honor, and praise to Him for His glory, that is everything.
Each day, as I rise…as I strive…as I work, eat, exercise…as I rest…I make a choice to do them for Him, or myself. However simple that may sound, it’s a daily dying of my self so that God may accomplish in me what I could not do through my own means. He is. I am not.