One Word

So I’m joining the movement, jumping on the bandwagon…or possibly just choosing to live life for the next year in how God is seeking to have me live it. So many have committed to living in the context of this word-sort like a resolution. This goes far beyond some silly resolution for me. In fact, I wasn’t going to do this. That is until God really got ahold of me the last week. I mean, He put His mighty thumb down on me and would not let up. I was uncomfortable, agitated, and uneasy…I didn’t like it one bit.

He knew where to get me, as He always does when I’m not listening to the Holy Spirit, entrusting Him to guide me, lead me, and fill me. So I started praying, thinking, and praying again. The word that kept coming back over, and over, and over again was this…OBEDIENCE. Then came the flood of off-shoots as I began to really overthink things. But I God kept coming back to obedience. Every quiet time was flooded with obedience points. Every sermon or message I heard was throwing obedience at me. Every single blog I read dealt with being obedient in whatever God’s asking from you, or asking of you. So I had some time with God, one-on-one in His presence. I prayed for obedience to fill my life. That I would obey, regardless of what it cost me, regardless of what it looked like, and regardless of the questions that I might come up with. Obedience…I was at the end of self in this.

During the service Sunday morning, in the midst of praise and worship singing, this thought flashed through my head: “If I can’t trust you to obey in even the smallest thing I ask of you, how do you think I can give you the big things and think you’ll obey?” I was already trying to talk God out of something in my head that He was speaking to me about, and He called me on the carpet. That’s when I stood, alone, and praised Him with all I had. I poured every bit of myself out to give to Him right then. Afterward, I was speaking with a friend about some things that’d been weighing on me, how God had really put his thumb on my life for a while, and I thought I’d dodged Him for good on it. I shared with her what all I had been reading as far as quiet time, and the Radical Experiment, showing her over and over again where God was reiterating the same thing through so many different outlets. She asked me a pointed question, one that I needed to be asked quite frankly much sooner than that, and my response was “I know that if I cannot be obedient in the small things, there’s no possible way I can be trusted with the big things from God.” I came straight home and went directly to the area I’d been really wrestling with God on and became obedient in what He’d been pushing on me for weeks. It felt like a boulder had been lifted off of me in all honesty. It was such a weight that I hadn’t even realized I’d been carrying. Do you ever get that way? You’ve carried the burden of whatever it is around for so long, you’ve grown accustomed to it’s weight. 

So tonight, as I was procrastinating finishing up a loose end in this area of obedience, I flipped on CrossPoint’s sermon from yesterday by Pete Wilson. Their new series is entitled “More.” Check out the intro to it here, I got pumped for it and I’m not even there to see it live. Pete’s message was a smack to the face. I sat speechless, I still truly don’t have words for it. All I can do is end with this quote from Pete, “Big moves by God are almost always preceded by obedience to Him in the small things.”

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