Where I’m At Right Now

God wasn’t exactly done with me writing tonight.  I’ve had a monster headache since 1:30 today and no amount of Advil seems to be working, neither does an after-work rest time.  So I’m writing….

Philippians 2:3-4-Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself. Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others.

This has been the verse that has stared back at me this week in my quiet time each morning.  I’m continuously recalling moments in Mexico and my strong desire to be back there.  I’m remembering the feeling that God was with us in all we did and the love and hope in those kids’ eyes.  My heart is there.  I left it.  I sit and think about those kids, the families, the love we poured out….Satan likes to remind me of the frustration of travel there and the lack of all my conveniences.  Then I remember the utter freedom I felt there…and my heart aches to be back.  I know my family and friends prayed and some worried (okay my mom worried…own it), but ultimately I don’t think I’ve ever been happier than in Mexico serving God.  (wow, that’s the first time I’ve admitted that)….
Coming back to that verse, I don’t want to act rashly or through my own selfish desires on the next step.  I keep telling people how badly I want to go back at Christmas, but know that I haven’t given much prayer time to it….I haven’t shared much about the trip because I feel that if I talk about it it’ll lose it’s luster within in me or it will fade somehow.  I’m not sure where God’s directing me..it’d be nice to have someone tell me, but God doesn’t exactly work that way.  He reveals things in His time and I have to be patient in that.  He’s doing some amazing things around me and in me where I’m at right now.  I cannot deny that.  I also can’t sit and dwell on the past or daydream of another life, that’s not bringing Him any glory.    So for now, I’ll pray and give God all the glory for how He’s working, and the doors He’s opening through this trip. 

One thought on “Where I’m At Right Now

  1. You know, I think it's good to keep some of it to yourself. In time, as you pray, and as you encounter others…Mexico will spill out as a part of your story with Christ. God will use you in specific moments. Praying for you sista…So happy you're back, but so happy you found something there that took hold of your heart in a good way! :o)

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