My fig leaves.

“We still have fig leaves. They are just more intricately woven.”

On the surface, that statement speaks truth. We do still clothe ourselves, with material that is more closely knit, finely adorned, and hides everything. Looking at it closer though, I find a more convicting truth in it. The fig leaves were born out of the sin of Adam and Eve in the Garden. Their eyes were open to their nakedness, and I believe their utter sinfulness, after eating of the Tree. At that moment, they realized they must attempt to cover it up, to hide it from God.

Here I sit, a couple of thousand plus years later. Still trying to cover up my sinfulness with the fig leaves I’ve fashioned for myself. I make them with excellent excuses, handmade hindrances, and guilt-ridden guffaws. I throw my attitude out the window the second I think God’s found me out. Newsflash-He knows me and knows the very worst of me…He knows already that I’m going to do that. That I will realize my sinfulness and start to (too often sadly) wallow in it. It’s like jumping into a pile of those fig leaves all nice and neatly raked up by none other than myself.

Lately the fig leaves have been other people. I’ve blamed them for my sinfulness, that they are the ones who’ve caused it in me. Hmmm, not exactly the case there. God’s good about that. He’s good and showing me that no, it’s not in fact anyone else, it’s me, and my rotten sinfulness that’s seeped in yet again to take ahold of my attitude and have a go in the pile. My relationship with Christ is just that, a relationship between He and I. He’s chosen me, called me out to be in a loving fellowship with Him, regardless of how horrible my very worst is. You see, that’s what I’ve come to really dwell on the last few days. God loves me, even though He knows the absolute worst things about me, the things I’d cringe if anyone else knew (and am thankful they don’t)….but He does, and He chooses to love me and be in a loving relationship with me. That gets me….that right there. If for nothing else, how could someone refuse that kind of love and devotion? So many cry out for love daily, to know what it is, to know what it’s like to be loved, and have someone forgive all your misgivings, wrongs, and grossness and be utterly in love with getting to know you.

I’m still going to have those fig leaves, but I pray that I’m more conscious now of when they pile up, or I rake them up into that pile…that I let God blow them away with the winds of forgiveness and love, rather than wallowing in the wretchedness and disobedience of what they are. I pray that I’ll let those fig leaves go, and be glad with God’s intended purpose and plan for me.

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