That’s been the theme the last couple of weeks in my life. Obedience. In everything. From the standpoint of a stubborn child, this has been difficult for me to understand, and even more difficult for me to apply. To everything. I am truly a stubborn child in God’s eyes sometimes, okay, most of the time. The second I put my will ahead of God’s, I have placed myself in my own eyes as better/greater than Him. Then I reflect and become defeated. Or rather I see my disobedience, as Pastor Hollie said two weeks ago. Defeat is merely disobedience to God. I never want to blatantly be disobedient to God’s will, or His urgings. But that’s exactly what I do daily. When He speaks to my heart about someone, I begin to question. There it is, disobedience. And then the self-condemnation comes upon me. Bam, disobedience again. It’s a domino effect in theory if I allow it to be. I do not want to be prideful in this moment, but I believe it’s a sign of growth that I am able to recognize now when I am being disobedient and going to God in a humble spirit to repent and ask for His forgiveness. Lately, I’ve been humbling myself many times a day, knowing I’ve let a thought creep in, a word creep out, and an action explode from myself that is not reflecting God’s character.
After all, we are called be Christ-like in all things. Not just some things. Not just at church. Not just when we’re with fellow believers. IN ALL THINGS. And I am most certainly not able to do this in and of myself. It’s a God thing. It comes FROM Him to bring all glory and honor TO Him. How awesome is that? That He gives us the will and ability to give Him praise and worship. That’s mind-boggling to me. And yet, I know that it can only come from Him. That’s been the main focus of my prayers of late, for God to use me for His glory. To allow His glory to flow through me that I may able to give it back to Him.
However, it’s hard. It’s not supposed to be easy. If it were easy, the devil wouldn’t attack us the way he does, nor would we be dependent on God if it were simple. We are designed to fail, and that is okay, because we have a Saviour waiting there. A God who is with us through it all, knowing what our deepest thoughts and desires are, and yearning for us to lean upon Him for it all. I’m still disobedient, and untrusting at times. I’ve been so programmed by human failure, and trusting in an unfailing God is foreign, and very trying to understand and then put into action. I pray for God’s guidance and help on this daily because I cannot do it, it has to be His work in me.
I Thessalonians 5:16-18- Rejoice always; pray without ceasing, in everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. (Just a teaser of what else God’s been laying on my heart for another blog)