I’ve been struggling for the last few weeks with anger. If I’m going to be honest, I’ve been struggling with anger all my life. God blessed me with a quick temper, and suffice it to say, it’s gotten shorter as the years have passed. Anyone who has met me, knows me, loves me, knows this about me. I never realized, deep down, how much it controls my attitude and ultimately, my life until very recently. Anger builds up over time too. When you couple that with resentfulness, coveting, and an unforgiving nature, it makes for a very nasty person. Which has been me for the last year or so.
Over the last five months I’ve made a concerted effort to focus on how I react to things, because I’m the one who has control over that. I noticed something very telling. The further I got from God and His will for me, the more I slipped into my old self again. It culminated two weeks ago into a huge blowup. I’ll save the details because they are personal. However, it caused me to see who I had been to so many people for a very long time. It took about an hour for me to regret everything I had said and then another week before I could bring myself to apologize to the person I’d blown up at. It took another two days before I could attempt a repair of our already strained friendship. I’d put this person through alot over the last year and knew I couldn’t ask anymore of them than to just listen to me. I’m thankful they at least listened.
Over this time of silence on their end, I’ve thought alot about myself. It sounds vain I know, but in a healing manner. I don’t want to go back to being that angry person. In fact, I cannot. God’s leading me in a direction far away from anger and bitterness. Although life will attempt to push and grab at me to pull me down, as long as I am in God’s hands I am safe. I read my daily Bible selections earlier this evening after finding anger building within me again and it touched a nerve. It was on loving those who are unlovable. And that was (and is still to someone) me. God’s given me so much, that I have no reason to be angry. He’s blessed me beyond measure with an amazing family, fantastic friends, a nice place to live, and a job to support myself. Many people don’t have those things. Although the things of this world may get me down, I know that God’s grace is sufficient for me, and that I should show that same grace and love to others when I feel I have been wronged.
John 16:33-“These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulations; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world.”